I don't know if any of you have noticed, but Darnell Dockett's Twitter feed may be the greatest thing in the history of football. And while the behemoth Cardinal may have been a tad ridiculous prior to the lockout -- ex., when he took a shower in front of the whole world for $1,000 -- this newfound sense of non-punishable freedom that exists in the post-lockout world has done wonders to increase the hilarity that springs from his brain.
Given that, I present to you, a montage of Darnell Dockett's spectacular week. A fascinating journey filled with random musings, flawless pick-up lines, and of course, alligator thugs.
A couple starters to get us going.
Twitter / @ddockett: So what's the hype about f ...
So what's the hype about free slurpess from 7eleven on 7/11! Sh*t I been stealing out 7eleven since 96' slurpess, candy, gas, oh well TTYL!
Twitter / @ddockett: This lady heard me PEE'N i ...
This lady heard me PEE'N in the bathroom and said "that was loud I thought a horse was in there" I said "sh*t! it was", and winked at her!
Good stuff. In other news, Darnell bought himself a pet alligator.
He affectionately named it Nino. To celebrate, the two cruised around Washington D.C. in Dockett's Camaro, as Nino comfortably lounged in the passenger seat.
Twitter / @ddockett: RT @BabiGyrl619: why the f ...
RT @BabiGyrl619: why the f*ck does @ddockett t have his alligator in His car listening to jeezy this is crazy!<--- Alligator Thug motivation
Twitter / @ddockett: RT @HMack3: well.... @ddoc ...
RT @HMack3: well.... @ddockett is walkin around DC with his pet crocodile. this is gonna end up on @sportscenter in the AM ?<--- I HOPE NOT
As always, Peta somehow got involved. But not to worry, from great minds come great solutions.
Twitter / @ddockett: I just got the Letter from ...
I just got the Letter from @peta lmfao! I'm gonna next day this sh*t right back to em! With a pic of me and NINO eating at Waffle house!
And of course, what other way could we end this mini-portrait than with some good old hometown loyalty. Don't ever doubt that Arizona loves you right back Darnell.
Twitter / @ddockett: RT @ChenteMr202: @ddockett ...
RT @ChenteMr202: @ddockett how about u leave arizona n just come play 4 the skins!?<-----I'd let Casey Anthony keep my son before I do that!