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Things Don't Look Good For Kurt, A Paso Doble Takeout

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It was Rock and Roll week on DWTS, which exists in an alternate universe where KISS is the height of rockdom, which actually physically is in West Hollywood, so it all makes sense. But oh noes! Kurt and Anna ran straight into the Paso Doble, and that bull fought back. Our dancing heroes are looking quite precarious this week, ranked last on the leader board, hopefully Northern Iowa votes en mass and that keeps Kurt around.

The first mistake Kurt made was to take any advice from Bret Michaels; that should never happen. The second was the perfectly unscruffy attempt at scruffy facial hair. The third was a leather cummerbund with fringe. The judges were across the board unimpressed, mentioning karate and lack of technique, but were booed loudly by the audience, led by Martha Stewart and Jamie Lee Curtis (speculation, but they were there). They scored 18 out of 30, ouch.

More after the jump ...

  • Audrina and Tony - Dancing the Paso Doble to "Another One Bites The Dust." Audrina channeled some emotion, which was quite the breakthrough for her. Not that there was any question, but yes, Tony was on Team No-shirt. Audrina rocked some suspenders that connected the back of her skirt to her tiny bolero jacket, because some suspenders are always better than no suspenders, even when serving no discernible purpose. 24/30
  • Kyle and Lacey - Wow, that Lacey is evil driven. Kyle has been doing well with her form of psychological torture tough love, so go them. 23/30
  • Jennifer and Derrick - Yea! Jen and D-boi are back to being BFFs. Whew, all is right in the world. However, another rough outing by the former favorite. The judges told them to calm down and Derrick to always, always wear skinny pants. 20/30
  • Rick Fox and Cheryl - It's getting creepy watching giant Rick dance with tiny Cheryl; they couldn't possibly find a taller professional to dance with him? Rick wins hair of the week with his frosted faux-hawk, accentuated by heavy eye makeup. Strangely, he actually looked pretty good; don't throw away that mascara just yet. Again, no surprise Rick was not just president, but a member of Team No-shirt. 24/30

Side note: How amazing/big brother-y does the new X-box Kinect look?

  • Bristol and Mark - Still bitter that she's still on this show despite COMPLETELY FORGETTING her dance steps last week; Ms. Brady was right to shoot daggers at her. However, Little Miss Teen Activist pulled out a very good tango, while channeling a glittery West Point graduate. 23/30
  • Brandy and Maks - More drama from the OMG drama couple. Maks said to trust in them as a couple, to which any sane person would have responded by throwing all his clothes onto the lawn. But alas, they are stuck together for the show's entire run, and Brandy looks good enough to last till the end. Oh, and an Erin Andrews sighting. Way to shoot down those "are you dating Maks" rumors, Erin. 26/30

Think this is enough dancing? There was more -- a "Rock and Roll Dance-off" where all participants' cardio fitness was tested by a four-minute long jive, while the judges kicked them off one by one. Sadly, Kurt and Anna were eliminated first, seeming to seal their fate tomorrow.

Our hockey-loving friends north of the border have a fantastic version of Dancing with the Stars, on skates, of course. Called "Battle of the Blades," it is everything you'd hope a Canadian talent show would be.