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NBA Strip-Teases 2010-2011 Schedule To Fans

The National Basketball Association, in an infuriatingly lame attempt to manufacture drama, has been releasing its 2010-2011 schedule piece-by-piece.

Right now, Emperor Stern and his schedule-making imps are giving fans just a small taste of some of the more enticing games before laying it out all there and disappointing everyone with a schedule that still consists of every team playing inter-divisional teams four times, inter-conference (but non-divisional) teams four times (or sometimes three times), and non-conference teams two times

It's annoying, and I'm here to ruin Stern's exercise by giving away the dates of some of Stern's most well-hidden schedule gems.

October 23, 2010: New York Knicks @ Memphis Grizzlies. Amar'e Stoudemire remembers what playing under Mike D'Antoni was like, but realizes he no longer has the warm embrace of Steve Nash to run to when times get tough. And times will be getting tough, Amar'e.

November 21, 2010: Los Angeles Lakers @ Portland Trailblazers. On this evening, an annual Portland tradition will be upheld, as Oden's season will come to an early end after an excited courtside fan's errant nacho chip hits Oden in the knee, liquefying the kneecap instantaneously.

December 29, 2010: Allen Iverson will retire from whatever team Allen Iverson ends up trying to play for this year.

January 15, 2011: Tracy McGrady will be upset with whatever team Tracy McGrady ends up trying to play for this year and pout excessively, and possibly cry.

February 4, 2011: Minnesota Timberwolves @ Charlotte Bobcats. The Timberwolves will play the game entirely with point guards of varying quality, though none shall be Ricky Rubio.

April 13, 2011: Los Angeles Clippers @ New Jersey Nets. The Nets, led by lukewarm offseason acquisition Jordan Farmar (not LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amar'e Stoudemire, Rudy Gay, Joe Johnson, Dirk Nowitzki, etc. etc. etc.) will finally "net" win 13, leaving owner Mikhail Prokhorov so pleased by the progress this season that he will allow every player an extra portion of stale bread and room temperature water.