Ice Edge Holdings joined Jerry Reinsdorf this week on the sidelines of the Phoenix Coyotes sweepstakes, settling for a smaller plaything for Thunder Bay when they couldn't muster the cash (or agree to Glendale's terms). Instead, we hear whispers of a mystery man buyer who now wants to buy the franchise from the NHL and keep the team in Arizona.
Of course, this mystery man apparently didn't get in on the bidding last year or the one before and avoided any short list of saviors during that time. Also implied is that this cloudy rich figure has the funds to hemorrhage on an NHL franchise that once admitted to The New York Times that they never bothered to build a customer list before the NHL intervened.
So who could this miracle worker be? SB Nation Arizona, in consultation with Nancy Reagan's oracle and Scott Burnside's great-aunt Bertha, has compiled a list of potential candidates with odds:
Mark Cuban: 50-1
Have franchise, will travel. Like free agents and the Yankees, Mark Cuban is required by law to be included in any potential franchise purchase speculation. However, Cuban tends to associate himself with franchises that could, y'know, succeed. Don't count on your savior to come with his own blog and bad haircut.
Warren Buffett: 1,000-1
Buffett concentrates on undervalued concerns in obscure market segments. Buffett might invest in the Jobing.com Arena parking lot, but he's not taking the team.
Mikhail Prokhorov: 50-1
Mysterious, yes. Willing to invest in moribund franchises, yes. Has seen a hockey game, probably. Will want to move them to Brooklyn, definitely.
Phil Knight: 125-1
Your University of Oregon hockey team!
Christy Walton: 500-1
Three words: World's. Largest. Sam's Club. (Okay, three-ish.)
Sergey Brin: 100-1
Try it out: Google Canine. Rolls off the tongue, no? Plus, you can use it to search for season ticket holders.
Wayne Gretzky: 250-1
It all depends on the fourth race at Aqueduct. Good luck, Janet!
Nicolas Sarkozy: 350-1
Shane Doan, please report to the front office. Shane Doan, please report to the front office.
Scrooge McDuck: EVEN
He's swimming in money. His family has experience owning NHL franchises. He has no compunctions about large patches of water. He has plenty of incompetent family members desperate for cushy jobs and the Dolans have locked up all those spots on the East coast. His investment portfolio looks like someone pointed at Wikipedia and said, "One of each."
Plus, he's fictional. That's pretty much required for our mystery man.
Filed under:
Who Is The Coyotes' Mystery Savior?
We don't know either, but that won't stop us from guessing wildly.