Brian St. Pierre, the third-string quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals last season, has decided to hold out from training camp until a new contract is worked out with the team.
SB Nation Arizona caught up with St. Pierre at a Flagstaff-area Denny's, where - over a Grand Slam and some old coffee that had obviously been on the hot plate for a couple of hours and had started forming that greasy film that cheap coffee often gets if no one's been attending to it much - he ruminated over his continued frustrations over his contract situation and discussed his future in the NFL.
"I just want to pound out a new deal, you know?" he said. "I had some talks with Rod [Graves] and Coach [Whisenhunt] today in the parking lot and I think they know where I'm at as far as numbers and years and all that. They understand it's a business. I understand it's a business. I'm confident something will get done. But until then, I won't be practicing."
When asked about what kind of feedback he's received from the team, he said, "It's hard to tell. Today, they were on their way to a team meeting and were walking really fast. It was hard to keep up. But, I said my piece to them... pretty loud, I think, so I'm sure they heard me. They were walking so fast. Maybe they didn't recognize me."
With the Cardinals having already signed free agent Derek Anderson and drafted quarterback John Skelton, St. Pierre would be the fourth quarterback on a roster that barely even trusts its first option. But that didn't seem to deter Brian.
"Every team could use a fourth QB. It's an important position. I mean, you know never... maybe they get tired of Matt being left-handed and then Derek eats a poisonous mushroom or something. They got lots of those here in Flag. And then suppose Skelton... suppose they decide the college he went to is just too small. I've certainly never heard of it. Where would the team be then, if all that happened? In real trouble is where."
The Cardinals front office did not seem to recollect St. Pierre.
"Brandon St. what?" Whishenhunt said. "That's a ridiculous name that you obviously just made up right now. Please leave before I have security help you out."
General Manager Rod Graves had equal trouble recalling that that Brian ever existed, much less had a roster spot on the team. "St. Pierre? Yeah I think I know that name. Pretty sure that's my kid's favorite hockey player. Has one of his posters up in his room. Yeah, I remember him now. I'm not a huge hockey fan myself," he said.
When told of St. Pierre's attempts to talk to him and Whisenhunt in the parking lot earlier in the day, Graves did indeed corroborate the incident. "Yeah, some guy tried to talk to us about a contract, but I thought the dude was homeless and crazy and wanted to steal my wallet. Ken and I just barely made it into the building alive. We were so scared. Dude had some serious murder-eyes."
DISCLAIMER: THIS WAS COMPLETE MAKE-BELIEVE.