Kirk Gibson's having a tough time on the job thus far. The Diamondbacks have lost seven of Gibson's first 10 games as interim Manager of the ball club. The roster is still not progressing on the whole. The strikeouts are reaching astronomically high levels. The relief pitching is still anything but a relief.
Oh, woe are we! Where to turn for answers? Is there any cure for the vast and deep ills of the D-backs? Is there any sort of cosmic force that can reverse their baseball fortunes (or lack thereof)? Probably not. This is probably it until the trades start rolling in.
But Gibby's trying. He's making the rounds, trying to find anyone or anything that can help make things less painful for the team. After exhausting most of his resources, he's turning to a familiar face: his own. In particular, his mustache. Good old 'Stache has helped him persevere through the hard times and celebrate crunkaliciously through the good times. So elegant, so full. It's helped him before... can it help him again?
WARNING: This story was complete make-believe.