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Your Handy Tour De France Drinking Game

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With the first rest day of Le Tour upon us, now is the time to get serious about this. As the roads went up the Alps, the first shakeout has happened.

Yes, Lance Armstrong's chances have taken a fatal blow (or should we say fall), but fellow American and teammate Levi Leipheimer is well positioned to make some noise. I know Seth tried to win you over with pictures of beautiful French countryside and promises of skinny men in tights.

But here's a different idea ...  the World Cup proves that American sports fans will rally around any lesser known sport if it involves getting together in bars. So, how about a Tour de France drinking game after the jump? (Can also be used to make bingo cards for those non-drinkers.)

First off, this works best when watching the original broadcast with Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwin as announcers. Their plummy English accents will soothe and watching them counts against the nearly forgotten "get more culture" New Year's resolution.

The checklist/drink list:

  • Forget about Speedos -- they are everywhere on the tour. Drink for full moons only.
  • Classic shots of fields of sunflowers or herds of horses racing peloton.
  • Phil or Paul pulling out a historical reference about an obscure chalet, forgotten battle or dead royalty. These may/may not be made up.
  • If a cow/horse/dog wanders into path of peloton screaming along the road on $8,000 bikes. Two drinks if said cow/horse/dog are just fine (they usually are since the bikes weight 1/2 lbs. and the cyclists only a little more).
  • Peloton nature breaks caught by cameras. This is a good time to think of taking one yourself.
  • Riders yelling/gesturing angrily at photographers on motorbikes/other riders/team cars. Drink. If you can translate, call someone else and make them drink.
  • Phil using any suitcase/dancing/train reference.
  • Any interview with American time trial champion Dave Zabriskie. You might be able to make sense of it the more you drink.
  • Drink for any phallic symbols drawn on road (mountain stages are lousy with them).
  • Any ridiculous podium girl outfit. I'm looking at you, King of the Mountain girls.

There are more out there. Feel free to help out your fellow sports/drink aficionados and add your own in the comments. For actual coverage of  Le Tour, head on over to The Podium Cafe.