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Grant Hill, $3 Million Man, Gets Eye Upgrade

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Grant Hill, swayed by Dr. Jay Schwartz, official eye-doctor of the Phoenix Suns' enticing in-game TV commercials, decides on Lasik. Or maybe he's just being a great team player and putting his eyes under the knife laser to help promote a Suns sponsor.

This all according to the modern telegraph, Twitter

Reading between the lines of his 140-character news flash, we've managed to piece together a few other "facts" about Grant's "procedure".

Here's Grant Hill during the Suns season:


Now look closer at his eyes.


Do you see it now?

Look a bit deeper ...


It's a wonder he was able to play at all with eyes like that. It probably explains why he only shot 3 for 16 from three in the 2010 playoffs. It's not quite as amazing as Steve Nash playing the fourth quarter with only one eye, but it does sort of explain how Kobe was able to make all those crazy shots despite Grant's outstanding defense.


So now, Grant has decided to get that little eye problem fixed with a touch of the laser.


And when he's done, he will be better than ever!


Watch out, Kobe! The NEW Grant Hill is gunning for you!