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USA Vs. Ghana, All The Drama With None Of The Trash Talking

Saturday morning, Team USA faces the Ghana Black Stars to kick-off (get it?) their quest to advance deep into World Cup history.

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If videos from around the world Lincoln, NE are any indication, you are excited about this match because a) you are an American and you like kicking ass and b) because you are drunk and like kicking ass.

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The question for tomorrow is whose ass are we kicking, because when it was US vs England, that was some serious arse whooping potential right there. How's that tie tasting right now, you Group C second place finisher!!

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And thanks to this guy, you probably even know where Slovenia is and while you might not hate them with the same passion as the Limeys, you have no problem getting yourself into a good old-fashioned imperial rage.

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Then it was Algeria and let's face it, after eight years of Bush in the White House and that whole War on Terror thing, most red-blooded Americans were primed to get their hate on against a country whose flag looks like this.

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Is it fair? No. Is it true? You betcha.

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Now we have Ghana, which I am told is an African nation just next to Burkina Faso and Togo. This leaves us wondering if we can overcome our colonial guilt and muster up some passion for beating these guys?

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Ghana_medium

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The entire thing is a just a giant can 'o worms. How are we supposed to tweet, "Beat the Black Stars" or "Come on boys, lock up those Ghanaian strikers!"?

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It is a problem. Rooting for your team is great and all, but rooting against the other guy just makes the entire soccer hooligan experience so much more fulfilling.

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Oh, snap! We lost to these suckers 2-1 in 2006 World Cup Group play? They advanced and we didn't?

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Forget that!! IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!! We are kicking that Ghanaian ass!!!

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Revenge, my fellow Americans. It is your birth right!!!!