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Dear Sirs Bidwill & Graves, Pay Darnell Dockett ... KTHXBYE

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Arizona Cardinals DT Darnell Dockett has started a bit of a e-war with Washington Redskins DT Albert Haynesworth, mainly concerning the discrepancy between what each does on the field and how much each is getting paid for their efforts.

Although Dockett frequently mentions this on his Twitter account, it should probably be said again since nothing has happened to address it: DD needs to get paid.

Not only is he a huge, frightening behemoth of a defensive lineman who eats the frail flesh of opposing players for lunch and consumes their souls for dinner, then poops it all out afterwards, cleans it up, and then throws it into a filthy dumpster behind the bleachers, but he's hilarious and honest, as well.

He's extensively tattooed, his hair is fairly large, and he has tons of experience showering on webcamz. What else could the Cards ask for in a defensive leader?

On the other hand, Fat Albert Haynesworthless (credit: Dan Patrick Show/Mark Schlereth) is a fatty-fat-complains-a-lot who's going to be cut soon and might have to take a job at Fresh ‘N' Easy bagging up delicious fresh yet also easy food products.

Mike Sando over at ESPN points out something interesting:

Haynesworth's approach should remind Cardinals fans of their good fortune. Dockett will probably bolt from Arizona if the Cardinals ever let him hit the market, but he's showing up and working hard even though the $21 million Haynesworth earned in a bonus payment this offseason represents more than Dockett will have made from 2006 through the 2010 season.

And now, a previously private conversation between Darnell Dockett and Fat Albert Haynesworthless: