If you are one of those American sports purists who can't understand World Cup soccer because there's ...
a) not enough scoring
c) a loud buzzing sound
... then Glenn Beck has a message for you:
If you hate soccer, you hate America!!!
That's right, my national pride, jingoistic, flag-waving, USA RULES! brothers and sisters. The American people have spoken and the American people chose soccer over the NBA. Check out these facts straight from the Department of Truth:
# The TV audience for England against United States, on both ABC and Univision combined, was an astounding 17.0 million, according to Sports Media Watch.
# The 17.0 million USA v England viewing number is bigger than the first four games of the NBA Finals (14.1 mil, 15.7 mil, 16.0 mil and 16.4 mil). That’s quite an accomplishment considering that the first four games of the NBA Finals have hit a six-year high in overnight ratings, with the exception of Game 1 — which tied a six-year high. Game 5 of the NBA finals netted a viewing audience of 18.2 million.
And biggest event for America's former pastime isn't even in the ballpark:
Ratings news: Strasburg start scores for MLB - Sports Media - Sports media news - timesunion.com - Albany NY
The Tuesday night telecast of the Pirates-Nationals game, marking the major-league debut of Washington phenom Stephen Strasburg, generated a 0.6 metered-market rating for MLB Network, the biggest audience in its brief history.
Warning to World Cup Haters
You can continue to ignore the World Cup if you hate America, but be prepared to show your papers and prove your citizenship if at any point during routine interaction with law enforcement you are suspected of ignoring soccer and can't answer simple questions like:
- Who is the better "Howard," Dwight or Tim?
- What's the first thing that comes to your mind in reaction to the name "Jozy"?
- Who's the bigger choke artist, Billy Buckner or Robert Green?