Was this the last week to catch Kurt Warner and his satin dance shirts on Dancing With The Stars? Maybe. There is only one person who can save him, but there is no quit in Bristol -- except every week when she wants to quit and go back to Alaska.
A tired looking Kurt soldered on in a crazy week where, after dancing the original dance, the celebrities drew (from a giant mirror ball) the second song they would dance to. Expectations for a complete disaster were high, but sadly, all the stars pulled through.
Kurt and partner Anna's first dance was a waltz, which is a good dance for Kurt because it doesn't require much shaking of the hips and therefore, doesn't require suffering the wrath of Brenda. As a perfectionist, Kurt is having a hard time accepting his mediocrity in the ball room; our favorite Russian Anna is patient in an eye-rolling kind of way. The judging panel liked the waltz. Carrie described Kurt as a Ken doll for mature people, which I think is a compliment.
For the round two Instant Dance, Kurt and Anna knew they were dancing the Cha Cha Cha, and pulled No Doubt's "Hella Good" as their song. After 30 minutes of practice, Kurt trotted out in a very shiny lime green satin shirt and fringed pants and Anna in a matching tin foil bikini fringe dress. Given a chance to show off his musicality, Kurt did a credible job with no obvious screw-ups. The judges were impressed, giving them a 24/40 on both. The model of consistency, that's Kurt.
The rest after the jump ...
- Kyle and Lacey. The tyrannical little princess continued to
hauntcoach Kyle. However, he's showing his strong mental game by continuing to perform well. Team Ky-La started with a prom-esque Viennese waltz, which got them a score of 27/30. The second dance was a lively jive, showcasing Kyle's various facial expressions. The judges were impressed, 29/30.
- Jennifer and Derek. This week, we found out an increasingly fragile Jennifer had patella tendinitis, which adds to her already impressive stable of injuries. Despite being one hop away from losing a limb, Jennifer and Derek managed a glamorous quickstep, ala Fred and Ginger (if Fred wore skinny pants and Ginger had nose surgery rendering her unrecognizable by the average fan). The second dance was a rumba, which meant Jennifer had the mandatory artfully draped sheet and breath mints. Flexible Jen and skinny pants Derek wowed the judges, receiving 27/30 in round one and 30/30 in round two.
- Bristol and Mark. Bristol was homesick for a moose burger, so a game Mark packed up and went to train in Alaska, which caused the producers to drool, because it set up the perfect "Momma Sarah and
First DudeTodd visit the studio" shot, where Bristol was practicing her "scandalous" Argentine Tango. "Like lap-dancin' scandalous?" Sarah asked (with the dropped "g"). Yes, Sarah, lap-dancin' scandalous. Thank you, Bristol, for throwing that silly "virtuous" costume idea out the window; the tango is not meant to be danced in a turtleneck and bike shorts. For dance number two, the samba, Bristol did much better than expected, meaning the wandering around looking lost was held to a minimum. The judges were supportive, but unable to give her high scores because it would ruin their credibility. 24/30 for dance one, 23/30 in the second dance.
- Brandi and Maks. Brandi continued to kick dance booty, starting off with a beautiful waltz and dancing the Cha Cha Cha in round two. Maks was glad to get the Cha Cha Cha because he was tired of wearing his shirts buttoned up. Judge Carrie took them to task for wasting so much time at the beginning of the second dance -- criticism Maks took to heart. Kidding, of course. Maks and his giant ego took offense and used the rest of his camera time raising awareness for poor, overworked professional dancers that are unappreciated by judges. In spite of that hiccup, the judges rewarded them with 29/30 in dance one and 28/30 in the second dance.
Things don't look promising for Mr. Warner -- won't be surprised if he's gone tomorrow. Sniff, sniff.