Phoenix Suns Use Bad Tacos To Bribe Fans Into Improved Defense

For years now the Phoenix Suns have had a promotional agreement with Jack in the Box. If the Suns score over 99 points the fans get two free tacos that are nominally worth 99 cents. While the contents of the taco "meat" remains a mystery to me, what's true is that the Suns have have scored at least 99 points plenty of times but have held opponents to under 99 points a lot less.

New Suns President of Basketball Operations, Lon Babby, wants that to change and he's willing to threaten bribe fans with tacos to make it happen.

"It makes the point that in order to be successful we have to emphasize not only our traditionally league-leading offense, but also put a little emphasis on defense and have the community rally around our efforts to improve our defense," Babby said.

"We are delighted that Jack in the Box is willing to support is in that effort."

As with any business endeavor of this kind, one has to "run the numbers". No one wants to see Jack end up in the poor house because he gave away too many tacos.

Here's how it breaks down:

  • Last season the Suns scored over 99 points 73 times (88% of games)
  • This season the Suns over gone over 99 points 23 times out of 30 games (70% of games)
  • Last season the Suns allowed opponents to score over 99 points in 62 games (77% of games) 
  • This season the Suns have given up 99 or more points 25 times (80% of games)

So, the numbers show that the Suns are scoring at least 99 points in fewer games this year and they are giving up over 99 points in more games. Given that Jack in the Box is giving away free tacos at a slower rate this year, it makes business sense for them to also give away free tacos when the Suns hold opponents to under 99 points. But since the Suns don't hold opponents to under 99 points very often, the risk isn't that big.

This is just gooooood business.

In case you are wondering, there have been four occasions this season that the Suns have scored over 99 points AND held their opponents to under 99 points.

Does that mean four free tacos per person? No, sadly it does not.

The limit is two tacos, even if the Suns score more than 99 and hold their opponent less than 99.

For the record, this entire story is 100 percent true. Even we can't make this shit up.

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